Tuesday 8 February 2011

Love lessons learnt the hard way....

Having spent some time travelling solo earlier this year, I started writing my own journal on my thoughts and recollections on what has happened to me and my friends (male and female) in the dating world.
§  NEVER get involved with someone before finding out what makes YOU truly happy. Be it mountain climbing, writing or even tapestry making.
§  What kind of person are you looking for? Make a list. Write down everything in detail such as ‘He/she has to have a wacky sense of humour and be able to laugh at and understand my jokes’. Have a vision board up with images/words that relate to this. Have a list of affirmations to read each day.
§  If he/she cancels a date last minute IGNORE THEM for a few days. If they repeatedly call you/text you then give them the benefit of the doubt, but NO MORE than once chance.
§  DON’T sit for hours next to the mobile waiting for them to call/text you. Go out. Keep yourself BUSY. See a movie. Clean the house. Go for a walk. Read a book. Have coffee with friends. Anything!
§  ALWAYS make sure that you have your OWN hobbies outside the relationship that you can do without them.
§  Always TRUST your gut instinct!
§  NEVER cry over spilt milk. The next one that comes along is much better than the previous person.
§  Thought he/she was the ‘the One’ but it didn’t work out? See this as someone up there watching over you....
§  Don’t put your life on hold for someone else. Take that holiday overseas, do your Masters, take up a new sport, learn Japanese, whatever YOU want.
§  Put yourself FIRST. Then YOU. Finally YOU.
§  If you have been dating them for more than six months and you haven’t met their family members, it’s time to RECONSIDER the relationship.
§  You have to be comfortable being happy WITH and WITHOUT your partner.
§  Trust your friend’s judgements. Love can really be blind at times.
§  Don’t look back on past mistakes in love with bitterness. Simply see them as lessons you learnt the hard way. Each and every person who comes into your life comes for a reason. Whether to teach you something new, or to enrich your life in some way.
§  Take your time and don’t be intimate with them so soon. No matter how much ‘chemistry’ you have with them. If they are worth it, they will wait for you.
§  Only see them once or twice a week for the first two months or so of dating.
§  NEVER ditch your friends for a date – remember that your friends will always be there for you and they were there first!
§  If you feel that he/she is disrespecting you. MOVE on. There will be others who will respect you more.

You are unique and special in every single way. Never let anybody take your dignity or self-respect from you.
Take your time and enjoy your life till then...

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